When I was 13 and I saw him

8th standard, Wednesday, 2010-2011

Three things you never forget in your life – your first crush, your first love, your first heartbreak, they shape you as a person influence and alter your decisions being said that this is about the guy who made me feel Butterflies, so thank you for that beautiful memory.

How many of you can say you were cool and popular in 8th standard I cringe saying those words now but they were big words when you are 13, well I was far away from it with oily braided hair to skirt so long from the waist up that it would fall 2 inches below my knees I was the definition of uncool but it didn’t matter because I remember never caring about those things or how I looked or what I wore I cared more about my maths test paper on Monday than oil in my hair but why should I right? I was 13, but then one Wednesday I did, I cared, I was trapped

Now hold on think for one minute what was your first memory of being a teenager, was it your body changing or you having different priorities or just the age factor or the need of trying to fit in or maybe like me there was this guy/girl that you saw and you knew were growing up or maybe all Of this altogether

That Wednesday I saw him and my first crush,(let’s call him blue) first crushes are Different for everyone some become Friends then like Each other, some have grown up Together then noticed each other like a girl and a boy does, some like me fall hard and fast, you wouldn’t know what hit you because you had no idea what was coming and then there no chance of recovery it happens in a blink literally and figuratively

The scene –


10 more minutes till the bell rings and school could get dismissed And I could go home Wednesday’s were specially tiring because we had sports activity that day for 2 hours straight I had come 10 minutes earlier to my class so I could fetch my bag pack and go to my bus early to get a good seat, passing the corridor I saw him everything blurred I had never looked at a boy like that I felt blush in my cheeks, I could count all my heartbeats they were a little to loud the only way I can explain it he was beautiful straight nose, brown eyes and fair skinned, sweat glittered his face instead of grossing me out it made me only more drawn to him I couldn’t stop staring, I was frozen I think its hard to remember anything about me because I was so focused about him I had no idea why I reacted that way but I wanted to talk to him, I opened my mouth like fish and closed it again, forming sentences seemed difficult that second, I wanted to know his name and then maybe everything about him I still remember what he was wearing it was a blue Jersey that suited him in so many ways and spiked shoes (guess the sport) it literally happened in seconds but in slow motion ever second passing so painfully slow for me so I could memories every detail of his face drawing his image in my head so I could go home think about him and he went inside his class I knew his section that is all I knew, it took me two days just to get to know his name (won’t tell lol) from that day I cared about my hair so oil would not be poured in my hair on school days my skirt being only low waist I wanted to be presentable though math test was still important (lol) and let me tell you I know it was not love now but it was the only love at first sight I have because rest them have changed the love word with lust or attraction but went you are 13 it’s not lust,attraction you know of its only love, pure and innocent

Quote –

In one second you can’t become friends, you can’t become enemies, you can only fall in love

So, thanku blue

Ps – thanks mom for oiling my hair (hence I have beautiful hair people stop asking my shampoo ask my mother what oil She used)


The Journey Begins

Open diary,

Often we write our feelings in closed notebook/dairy because we are too scared to share it to anyone because it matters what they think,they might judge, we tell it to some people because we trust them but then we give them a power, which is worse than anything the more you hide the more you will give it the power to destroy you, you shouldn’t get affected what they think only you matter so this me telling you true stories you might judge me, gossip about me, question me, appreciate me be jealous of me so ask why am I publishing it to the world because guess what the world can give opinion i don’t give flying f#@*, I won’t post anything anonymously( won’t name the other person) because it’s about me no part of my life is something to be ashamed of I pretty sure 90% of you are on the same boat I will let go of everything slowly but surely

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton